


Better Her Than Me

by littlemisfit5290



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Costumes, Dialogue Heavy, Domestic Fluff, F/M, Halloween, Star Wars - Freeform, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, XF Writing Challenge, holiday prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-02
Updated: 2016-01-02
Packaged: 2018-05-11 05:37:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5615818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlemisfit5290/pseuds/littlemisfit5290
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mulder & Scully get ready for a Halloween party. Bickering/silliness ensues.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Better Her Than Me

**Author's Note:**

> This is written for the Holidays prompt for leiascully's writing challenge on Tumblr, and is inspired by posts I've seen there regarding Mulder, Scully and Star Wars. Ran with it beta-less. I apologize for the length and the excessive fluff/silliness. Hope you like it.

Slipping the black vest on over her freshly ironed white blouse, Scully admires her reflection in her full length bedroom mirror, pushes a short red strand of hair behind her ear. Tucking the crisp shirt into her belted skinny jeans, embellished with a bold red stripe down the left leg, she smiles. Pleased and eager to assemble the final part of her outfit. 

Turning away from the mirror she reaches for the belted, brown leather holster resting on her bed. With the oversize silver buckle and elaborate straps extending down her right thigh, it’s the furthest thing from standard FBI issue. An FBI Halloween party though, that’s a different story.

Perching on the edge of her bed she tugs on her tall black boots, then reaches for, places her prop gun in the holster. She knows she could’ve saved herself the fifteen bucks at the costume shop, packed her Sig instead, but the handle and feel of the prop adds to the giddiness she’s felt since trying on the black vest.   
  
Yes, she worships Leia and remembers resenting Missy’s ability to pull off her trademark twin buns effortlessly. Han though, he was the scoundrel, the rebel. The hero she channeled when she snuck cigarettes on the porch. When she began training at Quantico. 

It occurred to her when she almost opted for the leather jacket look, another reason she identified with Han. Another reason who she knew could pull this look off effortlessly if he so chose to. If he chose to even show up tonight. Checking her watch she sees he’s five minutes late.

Instead of getting exasperated, annoyed, she takes it as a gift. He’s buying her time to master drawing her weapon from the holster, perfect her laser sounds even though she’s armed with a blaster. Crouching down, armed and giggling she tucks her head, rolls out her bedroom door and into the hall. Jumping to her feet she presses her back flat against the wall, shuffles to her right. When she peers around the corner she’s no longer a special agent but a smuggler. Chasing Bill and Charlie as they duck and run behind trees. Only confident to reappear once a proper stick is in hand. One that won’t bend or snap in the midst of a heated light saber duel. 

“Scully?” Mulder raps on the door twice. Not hearing footsteps he steps back, shoves his hands in the pockets of his dark coat. He picked a simple costume, one of his usual go to’s. He looks the part and knows if he cranks up the wit and snark, he can act it too. There was the added bonus of the costume only requiring his worn leather jacket, a clean t-shirt, brown pants and his holster. Easy to throw on with no makeup or masks to remove later. 

Despite his nickname and rep Halloween had never been one of his favorite holidays. When your house and family remains haunted year round, trick or treat loses most of its appeal. His feelings about the holiday hadn’t changed since, but not attending the party would earn him heat from Skinner about not getting out of the basement, and would certainly disappoint Scully.    
  
She’d decorated the basement this year, hanging a paper ghost and a pumpkin over Mulder’s chair and putting a bowl of candy corn on the desk. Christmas was difficult for her since San Diego and Emily, but at Halloween she had kid level enthusiasm that proved contagious, even for him. He’d held onto his invite to the FBI party instead of his usual tossing it in the trash bin.  
  
He decided to go, charm the crowd by rattling off a few Solo-ism’s, then lure Scully to his place with the promise of beer, candy and a Silence of the Lambs viewing. There were certainly worse ways to spend a Friday night. 

Knocking again, wondering if she hadn’t heard him, when she still doesn’t answer Mulder frowns, goes to turn the knob.

“Ah, YES!”

“Scully?!” 

Mouth agape he watches his partner make laser sounds, roll across her floor rug before taking aim, firing a prop gun at her TV cabinet, Shaking his head in awe he takes slow steps into the apartment. Grateful the furniture is obscuring her view of him he stifles a laugh, moves closer.

“Ha! Take that, you son of a bitch!” Scully crows, continuing her lousy impression of a blaster.

Silently Mulder stands behind her as she continues rapid fire shooting out her apartment window. Crouching down behind her he taps her shoulder.

“Great shot, kid, that was one in a million!” 

“What the…MULDER!” Hastily getting to her feet, using the coffee table for support Scully stands straight, smooths her vest in an attempt to regain composure.

“When…when did you-“

“Right after you blasted the hell out of your TV cabinet. I mean I know you didn’t love the thing, but I never expected-“

“Shut up, Mulder,” she snaps, crossing her arms and looking down at the rug, then the blaster in her hand. Wishing she could use it to shoot a hole in the floor big enough for her to crawl into and reside in permanently. 

Seeing her stance Mulder sighs. “Hey, don’t be like that, Scully. It was fun watching you-“

“What? Make an ass out of myself?”

“Have fun. That was your intention, wasn’t it?”

“It was just some silly make believe, Mulder,” Scully says dismissively as he arches a brow, smiles affectionately but doesn’t press for more. To her relief.

“Look, we should get going or we’ll be late for the costume contest.”

“Yeah, can’t have that,” Mulder mutters, watching intently as she brushes past him to her room. Following behind, he takes in and appreciates each and every angle of of her unexpected costume. Feels disappointment at what he assumes she’s in her room doing.

“Listen Scully,” he calls through her closed door. “We have some time so don’t rush getting changed or anyth-“

“What was that, Mulder?” she asks, opening the door before crossing back to the closet.

“I-“

“I wasn’t ignoring you. I just couldn’t hear you with the door shut. What were you saying?”

“Not to rush into getting cha-“ 

Met with a look as Scully retrieves the hanger holding her coat, Mulder swallows hard, forces his mouth to move.

“Changed.”

“I didn’t come in here to change, Mulder. It’s chilly out and I wanted my coat.”

“Yeah, I got that, I just-“

“Why did you assume I was coming in here to change anyway? If it’s because we both had the same idea, I-“

“Yeah, that’s a big part of it, Scully,” Mulder scoffed. “Look, when you said Star Wars I assumed you were going to-“

“Be in a brunette wig and a white dress?”

“Well, yeah! Not to say the bikini would have been a bad choice. Far from it actually.”

Arching a brow suggestively he’s met with a bored stare.

“What! It’d be the most memorable look of the night!“

“Maybe you ought to have picked one up then!”

“Really? With my figure?” he teases, getting nowhere fast.“C’mon, Scully. Leia is a heroic, beloved icon. It never crossed my mind you wouldn’t have picked her.”

“It never crossed your mind I’d opt for her male counterpart either,” Scully scoffs. 

“Not with you so worked up over the stupid costume contest! I thought you were taking that seriously. And I thought you knew that if we had any shot of winning, my going as Han-“

“Would guarantee us losing,” she snaps as he looks on, dumbfounded.

“Why Scully, I’m hurt.”

“Not as much as you’ll be if you don’t decide on a new costume,” Scully threatens, getting a snort that makes her eyes narrow.

“Mulder, I’ve had this costume in the back of my closet for weeks. You didn’t even want to go to the party in the first place!”

“Well I showed up tonight ready to go. That should earn me the right to wear whatever costume I please.”

“Costume?” Scully snorts. “That’s the same outfit you wore on our assignment the day before last in Buffalo. You’re not in costume. That’s Mulder casual wear.”

“I can’t believe this. You think you can wear a Han Solo costume better than me?”

“Are you saying there’s a reason I can’t?” Scully asks, her tone of voice, eyes and brows cautioning him to tread very carefully.

“Scully there’s no reason that any woman can’t dress as Han Solo, or any other action adventure fantasy male film lead if she chooses. I’m just saying for the sake of the contest why gamble when you’ve got a sure thing?”

“Right. Why gamble with your uninspired version when I’m a guaranteed win? No one will expect this from me, Mulder.”

“Maybe do some of those action packed rolls and flips, get some more blaster action in. You’ll turn the whole room on its’ head.”

“Hey, I just might!”

Feeling the minutes tick by and knowing they had to make a move soon if they planned to arrive on time to the party, chewing her bottom lip Scully studied Mulder’s feeble costume attempt, looked on disapprovingly before turning back to her closet. 

“Look Scully, if you’re looking to rehearse your badass action sequence by throwing me into your closet maybe you ought to rethink-“

“Keep it up and I may do just that, Mulder.” she says coolly, reaching back in the closet for a different hanger. Holding a floor length long-sleeved ivory dress, much to Mulder’s horror. Backing up he shakes his head.

“I don’t know what you’re thinking here, Scully. But-“

“I’m thinking this will win us the contest. Isn’t that what you want, too?”

“Hey, winning isn’t everything! Ask the football team in the city we visited day before last.”

Backing up as she approaches with the hanger, Mulder finds himself backed into her bathroom door and on instinct, ducks inside to get away from her. Struggling to lock the door, he knows he’s trapped when she turns the knob with ease, hands him the hanger.

“Miss, are you sure you don’t have this in green to match my eyes?”

“Put it on, Mulder.”

“But-“

“Put it on if you want to leave this bathroom.”

“Damn it! Scully!” he shouts as she exits. Shutting the door behind her she stands with her arms crossed in front of it, barricading him in.

“This is not happening, Scully!“

“If you want that bonus paid vacation time as a reward for winning the contest it will.”

“The trip to Jamaica’s not worth it!”

“What if I go with and pack Leia’s bikini?”

Hearing him considering this through the door, Scully smirks, then frowns not hearing him changing.

“Mulder, I’ll wrestle you into that dress if need be.”

“Well bring it on then, G-Woman, because there’s no way in hell-“

Rolling her eyes Scully enters the bathroom, slamming the door shut behind her.

“Ow! Scully, at least unfasten the back, that zipper is pinching. Hey, if that’s you–HEY!” 

“You would’ve been destroyed by the Ewoks, Mulder.”

“If I was wearing this thing I’d beg them to.”

“Will you just hold still so I can zip-“

“My mouth shut for agreeing to this in the first place?”

“Hey, if that’s an option I’ll take a rain check.”

“Just zip my dress, woman.”

Somehow managing to keep a straight face the entire time helping Mulder into the dress, excusing herself to grab her Leia wig from the closet, no sooner does Scully leave the bathroom does she break into a full blown giggle fit.

“I can hear you, you know!” Mulder growls as she, still cracking up, grabs the wig from the shelf before falling into a hysterical heap on the bed. Seized with laughter that hurts her stomach.

“As I remember this was your very serious idea, Agent Scully.”

Exiting the bathroom, wearing the white dress and scowling, Mulder’s eyes narrow at the state of his partner.

“I’m…I’m sorry Mulder. It’s just you look so-“

“Sad, ridiculous, asinine. Wait, what are you. What the hell is that?!”

Backing away as she gets up and approaches him, wig in hand, Mulder shakes his head, swears and fends her off before she jumps up at him, tries to fit the wig over his scalp.

“Scully!!”

“Mulder, you’ll look fine if you just let me put the damn wig on!”

“Okay, okay! Stop leaping at me though like a crazed flying squirrel!”

Earning a scowl, rolling his eyes Mulder yanks the wig from her. “I think I can manage to do this myself.”

Tugging the hairpiece over his head, Mulder curses when the elastic band snaps at the crown of his head.

“Ow! Damn it!”

“Are you alright?”

“Yeah, I just don’t think this thing likes me very much,” he mutters, frowning as Scully moves to stand on the bed, motions for him to move closer to her.

“Turn around,” she says as he does, curiously.

“Why Scully, if I knew outfits were such a turn-on I’d have put on a dress years ago.”

Taking her snapping the wig elastic against his head as a hint, Mulder pouts and stands. Keeps his mouth shut as she adjusts the wig. Seeing his reflection in the mirror though he loses the pout, nods approvingly at the finished look. 

“Hey! I don’t look half bad, do I?”

“You certainly don’t,” Scully smirks, sitting and watching him strut, pose in front of the mirror. 

“That dress looks better on you than it ever did on me.”

“I find that hard to believe, Scully.”

“I’m serious. The fit and everything. It’s meant for a taller build.”

“Scully, even vertically challenged I think it’s safe to say you’d make any dress look fantastic.”

Blushing Scully smiles, keeps watching him admire his reflection.

“I think for one night though I can make it work. But did you really have this lying around for just such an emergency?”

“I really did.”

“Where’d you get it?”

“Looking for new stores, Mulder?” she teases, getting met with a look.

“I didn’t actually buy it,” she shrugs, smile leaving her face. “When I was seeing Jack he wanted us to go to a Halloween party that his work buddies were throwing. I suggested Star Wars and he agreed. Went out and bought the costumes himself. When I told him though I wanted to go as Han, he-“

“What, Scully?” Mulder asks, sitting beside her as she fiddles with the bedspread, sighs.

“He laughed at me. And when he realized I was serious he said the last thing he’d ever do was go to an office party with a woman dressed like a man.”

“What an open minded, fun loving guy.” Mulder snorts. “I’m assuming after he said that all he wound up doing was attending the party alone.”

“No, but he should’ve,” Scully scoffs. Seeing the puppy eyed concern in Mulder’s eyes she stands up, fixes her hair in the mirror.

“It was ages ago though, Mulder. I’m fine.”

“You sure, Scully?” he asks, approaching her from behind and easing his arms around her waist. 

“Yes! I just said-“

“Okay, I’m just making sure. I’m not the type of guy who gets all dolled up like this without the incentive of a good time.”

“You still want to go then?” she asks.

“I want to see you have fun, Scully.”

Smiling at the picture the two of them make in the mirror, how bizarrely normal the sight is, Scully can’t help but laugh.

“We look pretty good.”

“I don’t know. Whaddya think? A smuggler and a girl like me,” Mulder paraphrased, earning a snort from Scully as she turned around in his arms. 

“Who are you, Mulder?”

“Someone who loves you,” he says as she blushes, then looks up at him with a smile. Says the only reply she can think of in this outfit. 

“I know.”


End file.
